The best Left 4 Dead review on the net?

Awesome Left 4 Dead video review, you know, that zombie game by Vulva.

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Now this is progress: SIXAXIS controlled breasts...

Tecmo (as ever the pioneer in gaming breast innovations) have just announced that its upcoming Ninja Gaiden Sigma II for the Playstation 3 will feature SIXAXIS controlled breasts.

Give your SIXAXIS a quick wiggle and your characters breasts will respond in kind!

I'm not sure this is quite what Sony had in mind when it came up with the SIXAXIS motion controls but let’s face it, up to now it’s not really been much more than a gimmick in games.

Player controlled boobs though? The future I assure you. Sony should get behind this and use it to market the PS3. They'd be number one by the end of the week...

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10 reasons not to get a gaming tattoo...

For many dedicated gamers it seems, the idea of having a tattoo dedicated to their favourite game is the ultimate show of dedication and I must confess at a few points in time I have also considered some kind of body art gaming homage.

Thankfully though it appears I may have perhaps avoided one of those 'why did I do that' moments!

Here's a great post I stumbled across at Comedy.com which highlights why this particular form of fandom may not always be the best...



Design and colouring in by Tom, aged 4.


Is this what is meant by shoulder buttons?


Pac Man is always worth a crack.


Hair today, Pac tomorow.


Is it just me or is Inky having a good look?


To see the rest (if your sides can take it without splitting!), go to this post at Comedy.com.

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Stop the pre-order bonus madness.

Pre-order bonuses are video games publishers’ latest fad; free items in exchange for your commitment to buying their products early.

Whether you’re in the high street or online, browse through the upcoming games release lists and I guarantee you’ll come across numerous offers promising you a variety of goodies in exchange for a small deposit and your phone number (if only other areas of life were so generous!).

In the past the bonuses tended to be some kind of game related trinket, a key ring perhaps or maybe a little figure, and this was both fair and more than enough incentive for most ardent fans to commit to a purchase before a games release.

Now though things have become rather more complicated with the introduction of pre-order in-game bonuses, and to be quite frank, I’ve had enough.

In-game pre-order bonuses suck. Not the most eloquent line I’ve ever written for sure but it is simple and to the point. Buying games these days however, is certainly not so simple.

I now have to decide before a game is launched whether I actually want to purchase it because if I don’t I won’t have access to the game in its entirety. Want to play as Sergeant Johnson in Halo 3: ODST’s Firefight mode? Sure no problem. But only if you pre-order the game.

Even then you may not get your exclusive content; last time I checked (02/09) Shopto.net had run out of codes for their ODST pre-order’s! Yes you read that right, they run out of a code for a virtual bonus item. How frakking daft is that?

You’re not supposed to, you know, actually go out and buy the game on launch day without pre-ordering. And don’t even think about buying the game after it launches because if you do, you will be punished – they will take parts of the game away from you. That part of your game is only for their loyal customers who pre-order you see, not for you, the regular consumer.

You’d think that would be bad enough but it gets even more complex. Do you often shop around? Well you may now have to but not for the best price like you used to. No, now you may have to shop around to find out which store offers you the best bits of the game you want to buy because hey, nobody buys a complete game these days! That’s just sooooooo last gen.

As an example, let’s say I decide I want to buy Forza Motorsport 3. I best pre-order to get the full game so let’s find the best price. Wait though, what’s this? If I buy the game (sorry, pre-order) from Amazon I get the Audi R8 V10 in my game but if I buy from GAME I’ll get the BMW M3 E92. Decisions, decisions!

Assassins Creed II – buy it from GAME for the 360 and I’ll get an exclusive in-game bonus quest. Buy it from Gamestation (who are owned by GAME) and I get…. nothing. I mean seriously, what the frak is this nonsense?

My money and my custom is worth less to them a week after release? Its worth more depending on which damn store I order with? Why the frak can’t I just have the FULL game as intended? Am I not worthy if I don’t pre-order?

Giving physical trinket gifts as a bonus for pre-ordering is great but don’t take away content from the game we pay for just because we can’t commit to it early. Not everyone can always afford to buy a game on launch day; not everyone can commit to a purchase in advance and they shouldn’t be punished by having part of their game taken away.

I mean what’s next? Will they launch a 2 disc game and we buy disc one from Amazon and disc 2 from GAME? If we don’t buy the next iteration of the Nintendo DS on launch day, will they take out the stylus?

The crazy thing is most gamers would be more than happy with their token trinkets for pre-ordering; these are the people who are going to buy the game anyway; the people who’ll probably love a nice related book and figure to put on the shelf of their gaming nests.

The people the publishers need to work on are those who buy after launch, because typically they are the ones who are undecided – they are the ones who may not make the purchase. And taking part of their game away isn’t going to be a great persuasion technique.

Limited edition games are almost as bad with their exclusive content add-ins (cut outs for the majority of standard consumers). Gone are the days of just a bonus booklet, poster and plastic figurine.

Buy the Forza 3 Limited Edition and you’ll get extra vehicles not available to those who purchase the regular edition, even though I’m sure sales wise the regular would far outstrip the limited in terms of units sold. Halo Wars was guilty of this with the Honor Guard Wraith only available to its Limited Edition customers.

The games publishers need to step back and take a look at the message their sending out. They are delivering incomplete product; splitting a games audience into the haves and have not’s based on (essentially) money rather than anything skill related. I want to earn my in-game bonuses through play not the size of my wallet.

And to be quite honest I like trinket trash. Stuff a figure in your Ltd Edition and I’ll probably buy it. Give it to me a pre-order bonus? Great my moneys down. Chop my game up? You can keep it.




Update (03/09): Interestingly the Shopto.net has changed today the way its listing Halo 3: ODST today. The listing for it now states if you don’t get the unlock code on launch they’ll credit you £3 to your account. Given yesterdays run out comment, why does the cynical side of me think that they don’t want to lose pre-orders and so have been a bit clever with the truth?

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Star Wars: Han Solo Adventures.

The LucasArts of old was renowned for its brilliant point and click adventure games which used its famous SCUMM scripting language. Originally designed to power the game Maniac Mansion, SCUMM (in it's various guises) powered some of the best adventure games of yesteryear such as The Secret of Monkey Island and Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis.

Despite Lucasarts (or Lucasfilm Games as they were known) access to the single biggest IP around (that little series known as Star Wars!), a Star Wars SCUMM adventure surprisingly never saw the light of day. Given the amount of potential revenue that could have been generated this was always a bit of a mystery and a disappointment for fans.

However thanks to Stacy Davidson all that is about to change with Han Solo Adventures.


Han Solo Adventures is a fan made Star Wars adventure game being made using one of the earlier versions of SCUMM. According to Stacy "the stories will be fairly original, loosely based on available background information on Han and his early exploits" and "you can expect game play similar to classic LucasArts titles."



No word on release date yet but you can follow the progress on the website. And fingers crossed that LucasArts don't get all legal about the game before its release.

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